Monday, 20 June 2016

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 7.11 Showtime

The Dish: If the Potentials continue to be this annoying, I am so #TeamBringer.

HOT! All About Eve

Let's start on a positive note, because overall, I did really like this episode. I hate the Potentials. Okay, that was a shitty attempt at being positive. But come on, show of hands, who really, truly likes them? Here's what I do like: the Eve misdirect. That was a great twist, and really showed the First's insidiousness. While the Scoobies may very well be saving the world but opening their doors to any and all Potentials, they are also opening up to more opportunities for the First to worm its way into their minds. More stranger, more danger, if you will. Nothing ratchets up the conflict like the 'trust no one' philosophy.

NOT! Ultimate Annoying Champion: Rona vs. Kennedy

This episode we were introduced to Debbie Downer, Rona. Just when we thought we had washed our hands clean of the sadsack overalls, Rona steps off the bus to Sunnydale clad in a tent of denim. Hey Potentials, if you're really scared of the Bringers/Ubervamp/First, just hide in Rona's can all fit! Fair enough, these girls have every right to be scared. And I for sure would be questioning my safety, with only the Scoobies watching my back. But Rona almost seems to take glee in shitting all over Buffy's plans and pep talks. I got news for you, Dungaree Girl, training under Buffy is really the best option you've got. Where else do you think you can go and be safe, huh?

Really, she's almost as bad as Kennedy. I can't believe it, but I was proud of Willow's new stalker when she pooh-poohed the negativity of Rona and the other girls. But of course, Kennedy had to keep going and say some wannabe tough-girl drivel, as if to seem like she's been fighting evil alongside the Scoobies for years, instead of luxuriating in her own private wing of her summer home.

HOT! Here endeth the Ubervamp

Buffy was on like Lady Donkey Kong this ep. There are many who can give a rousing speech, like Buffy did last week. But how many leaders can back up those speeches with effective action? Buffy spoke about seeking out her fears, and when she saw that she was losing the Potentials to Camp Doom and Gloom -- led by Rona -- Buffy put the kabbash on that bullshit by going after Ubervamp. Even though it was stronger and a better fighter, Buffy's determination and will won out in the end. Not only am I so proud of our Slayer, but I'm also happy there's a respite in having to shake my head in disbelief that this Mini-Me vampire is something to actually be feared.

Side-bar: I loved the mind-chatting between the three Scoobies, how we didn't know what was going on at first but then we got a flashback to their conversation. I just have one quibble. I know that Willow can communicate via mind, so even if Buffy initiated it, I buy that. But how were Buffy and Xander able to talk when they don't have that kind of power? Was Willow's power anchoring the whole conversation? If you can shed some light on this, post in the comments.

HOT! Operation Basement Rescue

Spike getting dragged back into the hellpit that is the basement of Sunnydale High was just lame-o jame-o. What purpose did it serve, other than us getting to see Dru again? Thankfully these cloying scenes had way less camera time than last week. But honestly, I didn't buy the question of 'Will Buffy come for me or won't she?' when it was pretty clear Buffy had every desire to get Spike out of the basement ASAP. Still, I can't harp on this too much when I am tickled pink by the end result.

NOT! I've got my (many) eye(s) on you

What is it with this season and having grave, dramatic moments completely undercut by funny-looking demons? First there's Uber, now this episode it's the eyeballs in a cage oracle, aka Beljoxa's Eye. It delivers Giles and Anya a huge piece of information, that the First is able to go after the Potentials because Buffy being resurrected fucked up the natural Slayer line. But all I'm thinking as I'm watching this scrotum of eyes talk is that it looks half-silly, half-gross.

FASHION SLAYER! There's a new blondie bear in town

When that demon rejects Anya's offer for sex, my jaw hit the floor. The poor girl ain't got a great batting average this season, first being turned down by Spike, and then by this workin' man demon. What is bloody wrong with these guys? Anya is sex on a stick especially now that she's gone back to blonde. Her golden tresses really suit her more than those dramatic brown ones, and while I'm no creepy Kennedy, I was all kinds of ready to jump on that sexy ex-demon ass. Congratulations to Anya the blonde. May you have more fun in your reign as this week's Fashion Slayer.

That's all for me this week, my lovely readers. What did you think of the episode? Who's your Ultimate Annoying Champion -- Kennedy or Rona? Or is it another potential entirely? Do you wish that, like Buffy and Xander, you too could study mind communication under Willow? Anya -- blonde or brunette? Post a comment and let me know. Check in every Tuesday for my latest Buffy blog.

Dish later;

Monday, 13 June 2016

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 7.10 Bring on the Night

The Dish: Buffy should drive a cab, 'cos boy does she hate Uber(vamp).

NOT! The potential to jump the shark

Ugh. The potentials. Hate 'em. Mic dropped.

Okay, okay, I'll unpack this further. On the bright side, we now have all our ducks in a row with what the Big Bad is after. We now understand why young girls are being murdered by the alphabet monks all over Europe. The First wants to wipe out the line of Slayers entirely. Which is actually kind of cool, and certainly epic enough to be worthy of a show-ending season. However...if this is the last time Buffy, Willow, and the rest of the Scoobies will grace my TV screen with new adventures, I don't want any time taken away from them and given to brand new characters. Especially ones as annoying as these three twit musketeers.

Annabelle was the only tolerable one because she was quiet, so of course she was the one who got killed off. Chatty Cathy-Molly with her gluttony and her Claire's Accessories clearance sale sock-bracelets aren't even worth this sentence, let alone camera time. And then there's Kennedy. She's like the junior department version of Faith. 'Oooh, look at how tough I am. I want to fight with weapons like the big girls. Oooh, look at how badass I am, I'm going to flirt with a girl.' Remember Dickwad Forrest? How about the pablemy Scott Hope? My disdain for these guys doesn't hold a candle to Kennedy. I'm calling it now -- she is my least favorite Buffy character. Get ready for rants a-plenty

HOT! Return of the sexy librarian

The only silver lining to these odious Potentials is that they come with Giles. Lucky bitches. I'd love to come with Giles. When the show isn't covering the idiot girl squabbles over who gets the best pillow, I'm sure glad that we get to see the core Scoobies back together again. As much as I enjoyed Season 6 -- yes, I'm the one -- when Giles left, the show lost something. I'm happy that he's back where he belongs...though a case could be made that he belongs in my vagina.

NOT! Buffy the Punching Bag

Y'all, you know shit's real serious when Buffy gets her ass kicked. I'm willing to suspend my disbelief, and go along with this pygmy OG vamp wiping the floor with Buffy. Hey, it's better than Molly's nails-on-a-chalkboard voice exclaiming 'Brill! Biscuits!'. But did we have to see so much of it? One-sided fights tend to be a little boring. And what's worse, is when we weren't rolling our eyes at Kennedy the Boner Slayer attempting to flirt with Willow, or watching Ubervamp grind Buffy into talcum powder, we were treated to...

NOT! Spike the Punching Bag

Granted, I love me some shirtless Spike. And if he's covered in sexy wounds, all the better. But seriously, I don't care that the First was dressed up in sexy Drusilla packaging because this plotline went bloody nowhere. Sure, give us a quick scene of Dru-psychobabble overtop of Uber beating up Spike, just so we as viewers are reminded of where he is. But leave it at that. 'Bring on the Night?'. How about 'Bring on the Better Storyline for Everyone's Favorite Blondie Bear'.

NOT! My Throbbin' Wood is growing flaccid

Yet another character whose story is repeating over and over, 'Groundhog Day'-style. Last episode, we saw that Throbbin' knows quite a bit about the forces of darkness, and may even be on their team. This episode, he was equally ominous and we're left equally in the dark. Really, all he did was remind us that Buffy actually has a job. Well, more like a paid nap-time. We should all be so lucky. Poor Roger.

HOT! Andrew, the First's PR Guy

The only thing keeping me from some serious 'zzzzzzz's this episode was how funny Andrew was. His ability to overdramatise a situation -- 'And it cost them their lives!!' -- is one I greatly admire. Plus, I totally agree with his notion that 'The First' is a lameass moniker. Instead of using Andrew to try and open the Seal of Dagmar or whatever the fuck it's called, the First should be taking PR tips from the guy. Oh, and Andrew gets crazy bonus points for citing Lord Voldemort. I don't know why Xander's so reticent to geek out with Andrew. I could do it all day!

HOT! Buffy's rousing speech

Well, Buffy may not kick ass at slaying (Uber)vampires, but man does she give a motivational war speech that would have Shakespeare begging for her autograph. Other than a few chuckles from Andrew, and a handful of clit-flicks at Giles being back, this speech is what got me to sit up in my seat and really pay attention. I was quite proud of Buffy, and she salvaged the next episode from being something that would have been a potential chore to watch.

FASHION SLAYER! One lone purple wolf in the land of bland

Just like this episode, the Scoobies' attire was booooooring. Sure, everyone looked fine, but other than Molly, couldn't somebody have been a fashion disaster? Anya, go put your clown pants back on! On the flip side, I wasn't drooling over anybody's wardrobe either. But Dawn really added a splash of color with her cute purple turtle neck, and the little bit also jazzed things up as Anya's slap-happy bad cop-in-training. A huge thanks for that, Dawnster, and a huge congrats for being this week's Fashion Slayer.

That's all for me this week, my lovely readers. What did you think of the episode? Am I being too hard on the Potentials? Would Giles be too hard on me? How much is your wood throbbin' for the mysterious principal? Post a comment and let me know. Check in every Tuesday for my latest Buffy blog.

Dish later;

Tuesday, 7 June 2016

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 7.9 Never Leave Me

The Dish: Spike and Andrew, together (in bondage) at last.

HOT! Buffy's (The) First Time

Considering the typical Buffy season pattern is that we don't really get going with the Big Bad until the second half, I'd say things are moving along at a considerably good pace for this final season. We know that the mystery monks are the Bringers, who fucked with Angel in Season 3, we know they work for the First, and that they want that Hellmouth seal more wide open than Harmony on prom night. But I like that they haven't revealed all their cards to us. What do they want with female European nightclubbers? And how are they connected to Principal Throbbin' Wood, who seemed not at all surprised to see a dead Jonathan -- *sniff* -- on the seal, and buried him with the same level of normalcy he shows when doling out detention? I gots to know!

NOT! Who's a cute little fear demon?

If Buffy has taught us one thing, it's that evil comes in all shapes and sizes. More often than not it's a giant snake, but it can also be a beautiful woman like Glory or Drusilla, a government demon-bot like Adam, or even just a regular ole human like Warren. So when a terrifyingly powerful demon like the First tells you to be scared of this itty-bitty wittle vampire, and the freaking episode ends with it crawling out of the seal, I know I should be afraid, very afraid. Buuuuut.....they're kinda puny. And silly looking? Kinda like that fear demon in Season 4's Halloween episode? Was there no way to make them taller? Instead of filled with fear, I was filled with...giggles.

NOT! Kaboom goes the Watchers' Council...and where the eff is Giles?

So the Watchers' Council is literally rubble. Whatever. Quentin Travers and his band of bureaucratic bastards had it coming. But how lame was that explosion? It was almost a nostalgic throwback to their 90s CGI. In the later seasons, it's phenomenal so when we see something like that silly building, it's very jarring. Also...last episode ended on the mother of all cliffhangers, with Giles almost getting his head lopped off by a Bringer. What the Hellmouth happened? Maybe that was the point, to amp up the dramatic suspense, but I was just irritated and bumpuzzled we didn't get an answer.

HOT! The Buffy diagnosis continues...

Friends, countrymen, step on up! For just one shiny nickel, you can psychoanalyze the world famous vampire Slayer, Buffy Summers. So far, both Holden Webster and the bouncer at the Bronze have had the pleasure to -- What's that, sir? Yes you, the sexy pale man with the bleach-blond hair. It's your turn! Yeppers, this time Buffy's former paramour got a crack at her. And what a revelation -- 'you like men who hurt you'. I love the sheer irony of the situation, that Buffy is helping Spike with his psychological problems, but she could use a dose of that too -- which she seems to be getting from every Joe in town. Though it doesn't necessarily advance the plot, Buffy Summers is one of the greatest characters to grace any TV screen, and I'm thrilled for all this insight into who she is. And hey, if Buffy likes men who hurt her, maybe she should be the one wearing the chains, because I am so sick of...

NOT! Sacrificial Spike

Don't get me wrong. I love me some Spikey bondage fun. I also love me some Spike covered in sexy wounds. But we've been here. Spike trying to atone for his sins? Umm, check. Spike being kidnapped and tortured by the forces of darkness? Yup, check. And I'm sorry, but some knife-wielding eyeless monk dude doesn't hold a candle to the skankalicious Glorificus. Come on, we just got Spike out of the high school basement. Let's do something crazy!

HOT! Willow the bully and the return of Andrew

My favourite scene of the whole episode was at the butcher shop/alley between Willow and Andrew. First, I am tickled pink that Andrew is back, and looking like he's going to stay...much to the Scoobies' chagrin. Both he and my favourite redhead were all kinds of funny. I really liked Willow's response to the situation. All of this season, she has been trying to distance herself from her Dark Willow alter ego, so when Andrew fears that's who she is, Willow is taken aback and rushes to defend herself...until she realizes she can use 'Dark' Willow to her advantage and get Andrew squawking. Wait to go, she-witch.

HOT! Good cop Xander and Slap Happy Anya

Andrew is like a nerdy Santa Claus. He brings joy with him everywhere he goes! I adored his interrogation by Xander and Anya. Anya's giddiness at slapping him was infectious and I really like that Xander and Anya are getting along again. They're not at each other's throats which is so last season, nor are they looking like they're going to get back together. They have a solid dynamic going. I guess sometimes it just takes smacking around a morally ambiguous geek to get back in the groove. And omg, how funny was that tableau of Anya on top of Andrew mid-strike, and Buffy's dismissiveness toward it, as if it was just a regular daily occurence? Priceless.


I think this is the first Fashion Slayer award I'm giving to someone who totally did not pull off their desired look. 'Coz Andrew ain't no Spike. The poor lad looks like he's going Trick-or-Treating as Neo -- loved that quip from the butcher. But rarely in the show's history has a get-up made me smile this much. So congratulations, Neo Andrew!

That's all for me this week, my lovely reader. What did you think of the episode? Sad, happy, or happily not giving a fuck that the Watchers' Council is no more? What's your Buffy diagnosis? Happy to see everyone's favorite Tucker's brother back in the fold? Post a comment and let me know. Check in every Tuesday for my latest Buffy blog.

Dish later;

Monday, 30 May 2016

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 7.8 Sleeper

The Dish: Spike has too many one-bite stands.

NOT! Freud meets Dracula

It all makes sense! Spike's new soul plus the First's mind games equal the perfect cocktail to royally fuck with Spike's head. Great. But instead of this being a B-plot, this is an entire episode which I was certainly not jazzed about. First, between the entire last episode, and Willow summing things up at the beginning of this one, the Scoobies are being attacked by an unknown spirit who disguises itself as dead people. But whereas the last brilliant episode had multiple iterations of this evil, 'Sleeper' is just one long, drawn-out psycho-mindfuck that doesn't give you an orgasm. Watching Buffy chase Spike all over town like he's Justin Bieber? Snooze. Plus that melodramatic interaction between the former lovers in the basement just seemed like a chewed-up, spat-out version of the one they had in the mausoleum in 'Beneath You'. I'm fascinated that Spike's chip seems to be malfunctioning, but can't the guy just pop a Zoloft and get on with the killing?

HOT! Spike on the rebound

However, one Spuffy convo I did enjoy was when Spike admitted to Buffy that he's seeing other women. He was so honest in his feelings, that he's only doing it to distract himself from his heartache over Buffy, but not in a needy, batting his eyelashes, 'maybe just maybe, could we get back together?' way. Just in a straight up, 'my dick needs some strange' way. And I'm proud of Spike. Now he just needs to remember that his teeth aren't the right body part to stick in these girls.

NOT! Spike's new shadow

Aka Buffy. I get it. Buffy feels guilty that Spike went out and got a soul for her, and now it's making him nutso. But, um, Buffy? Bro tried to rape you. And it's not like she even asked him to go out and get a soul. It's like if your ex shows up at your door, drunk and crying about how his dad used to beat him. Yeah, on a human level you feel sorry for him, but as the ex, you are the last person Saddy McSad-Sack should be going to. Girl, it's time to move on.

HOT! Bouncers: the new besties

My sentiments were echoed perfectly by the wise bouncer at the Bronze. Every girl should be so lucky to have a bestie like this. Okay, normally for Buffy that's Willow, but redhead is understandably preoccupied by an evil apparition delivering a message from Tara that she wants Willow to kill herself. Man oh man, that bouncer. What a guy! He has that rare gift where he tells Buffy exactly what she needs to here, no bullshit or sugarcoating, but he does it in a way that is so kind and caring. Between him and Holden from last episode, Buffy should thank her lucky stars for all this free therapy!

NOT! The Bronze

Can someone please explain the Bronze to me? After the renovations -- Thanks a lot, Olaf! -- the vibe seems more or less the same, with its awkward is it a coffee shop or is it a bar? debate, accompanied by kickass indie SoCal bands. But you wouldn't know it from the outside, with it's bomph bomph! club music, with its long lines of anorexic soon-to-be Spike victims and its velvet stanchions. Plus, it seems like the entrance to the Bronze spills out into Sunnydale's main drag, as opposed to being in kind of an alley like in the ye olde days of yore. How can you renovate where an entrance is? This is more confuzzled than Spike's brain.

HOT! The band at the Bronze

Okay, the bands have always been stellar, but Aimee Mann has to be in the top five. Normally the bands are just there to set the mood at the Bronze, but Aimee actually got to be part of the story. I loved that moment when Spike staked his former one-bite stand and there was that dead silence, followed by the band resuming their song like nothing happened. Plus, who doesn't love that line at the end 'I hate playing vampire towns.' Hey Aimee, as someone who loves the spotlight and hates when people steal it from her, I get it.

HOT! Sexpot Anya

If there's one thing I dig about this tired Spike storyline, it's that wonderful scene with Anya snooping through Spike's things, only to be caught redhanded and use sex as an excuse for her presence. It was funny and sexy, all things I adore about Anya. It's just too bad she's such a bad liar and was thrown off her game. 'Cos I for one would love to, one more time, see Spike flip Anya upside down and take her to Happytown. Hey, the guy said he's looking to pass the time. Call me a sucker for lonely hearts, but I think there's still something there.


Honestly, I don't know how Spike could have turned Anya down, when she was wearing that adorable white sleeveless blouse with that black picture frame style. The softness of the shirt really helped tone down her brown hair, which I find way too harsh. Really, Anya has never dressed better than in Season 7. I think it has to do with her not getting laid. Now that she doesn't get naked with Xander all the time, the ex-vengeance demon actually has time to put thought into her wardrobe. Oooh, that's a real rock and a hard place, isn't it? Sex vs. fashion? Well, if it tips the scales for you, Anya, you win this week's Fashion Slayer award.

That's all for me this week, my lovely readers. What did you think of the episode? Hot as he is, aren't you sick of Spike's psychological shenanigans? Am I right that Buffy should just move on, or is it more complicated? Who else wants to bitch about guy problems to that bouncer over a cocktail? Post a comment and let me know. Check in every Tuesday for my latest Buffy blog.

Dish later;

Tuesday, 24 May 2016

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 7.7 Conversations with Dead People

The Dish: Buffy rolls around with a dead guy...again.

HOT! The Big Bad's Coming Out Party

Finally! Yes, the Big Bad was teased from the jump of Season 7, but after that it totally coasted on #FromBeneathYouItDevours. We still don't know exactly what it wants -- well, I'm sure it doesn't take a genius to figure it out, *cough* APOCALYPSE! -- but we know how it operates. I love, love, love that it can take on the form of the deceased, because man alive, does it fuck with the Scoobies' heads. Can I get a 'muahaha'?

HOT! Stranger Danger

'There are some things you can only tell a stranger', the wise Holden says to Buffy. We really haven't checked in with Buffy's feelings about love, life, and being the Slayer, in awhile. Her conversation with dead person was absolutely enthralling, and I think for the first time, Buffy was able to put how she was feeling about her crazy complicated life into words, as helped by Holden. She has a superiority complex, but also an inferiority complex about her superiority complex. It makes sense. Every time I have detested Buffy's actions, it's because she's been a superior, holier than thou Super-Bitch. But on the other side of that coin, when it comes to love and sex, Buffy lets herself get completely owned because of her guilt over her feelings.

This entire episode, with its complex conversations, emotional revelations, and not having to shoehorn every cast member in -- No Xander or Anya. Love em, didn't miss em. -- was sheer brilliance. Kinda makes you wish they would have hatched this idea in Season 1, and once a season got a 'Conversations with' episode.

NOT! 'Yeah baby, I'm back'...or am I?

So it looks like Spike's chip is a-wonky and he's back to killing people again. Pardon me, but I'm not biting, Spike's character has been floundering for a solid foothold in this season from the premiere episode. In the past, whenever that's happened, it's all been smoke and mirrors. Don't get me wrong, I love me some William the Bloody, but methinks he's gone, baby, gone.

HOT! Percy could have told you, don't fuck with nerds.

Nice try, Mr. Big-Bad-From-Beneath-You, but you picked the wrong redhead grieving the loss of her soulmate to mess with. But oh, how smart that Big Bad was. First of all, thanks for coming in the form of Cassie. I was really happy to see her again. Second of all, Willow's greatest fear is that she'll get into a really dark place and 'make with the flaying' once again. Preying upon that fear, plus pretending it was Tara delivering that message, was straight up cold-blooded. But I guess that goes with the whole being evil and all. Mad props to my girl Willow, who was not only smart enough to figure out that Tara would never encourage her to commit suicide, but strong enough to emotionally fight to that conclusion. And you know what that means, if the Big Bad wants to take her out: Willow is one powerful-ass Magic Mama. Evil of the world, beware!

HOT! American Horror Story

How great was that haunting at the Summers' house? First of all, way back playback to the whole concept of the entire series -- the screaming pretty girl in the horror movie is the one who fights back against the monsters. We have start with Dawn being Teeny McTeenTeen from Teensville, ordering elicit pizza -- and SINGING to it! -- playing with weapons, hiding damage to the house, and of course, playing scientist with the microwave -- okay, that expanding marshmallow was pretty cool. Then the house attacks her. Sure, at first there's a shitload of screaming -- wouldn't you? -- but as soon as Dawn thinks her mother's trying to communicate with her, she fights back and expels the monster. Drinking game! Take a shot every time a girl does something badass this episode.

HOT! Jonathan's redemption

Jonathan and Andrew, the Dynamic Duo, roll back into town hoping to get in good with the Scoobies by helping them fight against this mysterious new evil. 'You really think they'll let us join their gang?' Jonathan asks Andrew hopefully. It's really all the poor guy has ever wanted. Yet even as he uttered these words, I got the sense that Jonathan himself knew that will never, ever happen. But when he died, he was truly at peace. His whole speech about the people he went to high school with made me well up with tears. It's really when Jonathan became a complete person. After Andrew cruelly tells Jonathan that nobody cares about him, Jonathan calmly and honestly responds 'well I care about them'. He knows he may never fit in, never be loved like he deserves, but he still believes in fighting the good fight. Bravo, Jonathan, bravo.

NOT! The cheesy 70s music video over-top of pivotal plot points

We really got hit with a Mac truckload of plot-heavy info and twists...but did the effects have to be so cheesy? When angelic Joyce told Dawn that in the end, Buffy wouldn't choose her, I wasn't shocked and horrified like I should have been...because Joyce looked like she was in a Princess Leia parody sketch. And um, the fucking death of Jonathan?! This was ha-uuuuge. But him falling on that evil, pentagramy thing with that red gel coming out of him that was supposed to be his blood? Beyond cartoonish. It looked like he and Andrew were trying to shoot some wannabe satan-rock band video. The poignancy was just lost.

FASHION SLAYER! Let's give it to the dead guy.

While he may not be Buffy's type -- or even worth her remembering -- Holden looked all kinds of dead guy-sexy. Kudos to his family for burying him in that spiffy suit. I dug it. Also, Scoobies take note: next time Buffy dies, hit up Mr. and Mrs. Holden's Parents to dress her. You lost all right to do that when you stuffed her in that sack of Amish potatoes you call a dress.

That's all for me this week, my lovely readers. What did you think of the episode? What was your favorite conversation with dead people? Agree with Holden's diagnosis of Buffy? Ready for something exciting to finally happen with Spike? Post a comment and let me know. Check in every Tuesday for my latest Buffy blog.

Dish later;

Monday, 16 May 2016

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 7.6 Him

The Dish: The Scooby ladies want what's underneath RJ's jacket.

NOT! Whipping Girl Dawn

In past viewings of 'Him', I have wanted to strangle Dawn. Crying like a tea kettle, getting in little 'snits', and shredding Buffy's cheerleading uniform because Dawn had a bad audition. But the little bit really had a rough go of it this episode. First, even though she gets to have a more active role in the Scoobies, she's still the 'Scrappy Doo', and will always feel left out because of her age. Second, the girl really has no friends. God knows where Goth Girl by Claire's and West Side Story went -- not saying that I miss them -- and Cassie's dead. Dawn is really alone and the potential for a hottie boyfriend like RJ really seemed like it would make all Dawn's problems go away. But then she humiliates herself at cheerleading tryouts and her sister -- she of the older, hotter, has sex that's rough variety -- steals away RJ. Previously, when Dawn laid down on the train tracks I was #TeamTrain but this time, my heart just bled for her.

HOT! Love makes you do the wacky

While Dawn may still be at the periphery of the Scooby Gang, I really appreciate Buffy having real, frank, adult conversations about relationships. Dawn is wise beyond her years to point out the contradictory nature of love -- Xander loving Anya but leaving her at the altar, Spike loving Buffy but trying to rape her. Dawn has real dimension and is not just the brat so many people think she is. Yes, she'll fling herself face first on the couch and cry about a broken heart, but I am in awe of her observations about this wacky thing called love.

HOT! Love Spell the Sequel

I know this episode is not looked upon highly by the Buffy community, but I am game for any storyline dealing with spells that make people act kooky, and I love me some human perps. I found it so clever that Xander unknowingly solved the mystery in the first few minutes when he said 'it's the jacket'. And anything about high school drama-drama I am all over. But I do have a few minor questions and quibbles. Did RJ know his jacket was enchanted? I'm going to go with no, because he doesn't seem to use it to get himself out of bad situations, like being hauled into Wood's office or getting cut from the starting line-up. Also, how come RJ doesn't have every girl in Sunnydale chasing him like he's a Beatle? The Scooby girls are all hot for him, and so are the cheerleaders, but that seems to be it. Does the jacket pick which girls find the wearer attractive?

NOT! A jerky, buttinski named Lance

From the way Lance described RJ's life pre-jacket, you would think the eldest Brooks brother was talking about a kid dying of malnutrition and disease in a third world country. But actually, I think RJ would have been better off. A life of model UN and writing poetry is way more attractive to me than just another jock. Plus, RJ is already mega-statutory delicious. I'm really surprised someone as big an asshole as Lance wouldn't just keep the jacket for himself. Being in your mid-twenties and wearing your high school letterman's jacket isn't that much sadder than living at home, begging Xander and Spike to stay and reminisce about the glory days.

NOT! The Odd Couple

Okay, I must admit, I'm thrilled to see Spike out of the basement. I actually really like this quiet and tough, get it done, version of Spike. But I do not believe for one micro-second that Xander would ever be okay with letting Spike stay with him. I don't care how hard Buffy pushed for it, I would never help somebody who tried to rape my friend. Xander was ready to kill him last season, but now he's begrudgingly offering Spike bottom bunk? Maybe the Xan-man is even lonelier than we think...

HOT! Here's to you, Buffy Robinson

How hot was that almost-seduction scene with Buffy and RJ? I don't know about yall, but I was having flashbacks to 'Cruel Intentions'. Man alive, Buffy turns into such a horndog when under these love spells. The girl better count her lucky stars that only Xander and Dawn bore witness to her little straddling display. Imagine if Principal Wood caught her? Oooh, now imagine if Principal Wood joined them. Dammit, sorry guys, this is a family blog. I'll keep it in my pants.

HOT! Funny ladies

Most episode of the series have at least a couple of laughs, and the filler episodes like this tend to go straight for the comedy. But this episode was in a league of its own. I don't think they've ever done anything as stylized as a quartered split screen, and that cool cat criminal music over top was just perfect. Willow's plan to turn RJ into a girl -- thanks, Anya! -- was so ridiculous that I almost wish it would have worked. But the icing on the cake had to be that shot of Buffy ready to blow Principal Wood to kingdom come, only to be stopped by Spike, and the oblivious principal just keeps on listening to his jazz. Loved it.

Also, I thought it would have been a fun throwback if Willow had been wearing a feather boa when she got hit with the love whammy from RJ. If you recall, a certain werewolf/most perfect boyfriend ever once said that for him to fall for a woman, it takes a 'feather boa and the theme to " A Summer Place"'. But I can't talk about it here.

NOT! Anya being hazed into the Scooby Gang

Buffy told Anya she wanted her back in the group, but did not mention the horrible degradation Anya would have to endure to reclaim her position. I mean, that's why Anya's wearing that horror show of a vest, right? It has to be.

FASHION SLAYER! Dawn's 'made of paint' sexpot shirt

Daddy like. Seriously, Dawn is quite the underage hottie and I love that both Xander and Willow practically drowned everyone at the Bronze in their drool. Too bad Faith wasn't there. She'd be so proud of bitty Slut-o-rama. I know I am.

That's all for me this week, my lovely readers. What did you think of the episode? Was it one love spell too many? Happy to see Spike out of the basement? Did Daddy like Dawn's outfit? Post a comment and let me know. Check in every Tuesday for my latest Buffy blog.

Dish later;

4. Buffy Robinson
5. The odd couple
5. Funny girls
6. Anya initiation
7. FS