Monday, 25 July 2016

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 5.16 Storyteller

The Dish: Why can't Andrew just masturbate like the rest of us?

HOT! Andrew the Storyteller

Boy, Andrew really is damned if does, damned if he doesn't with the Scooby Gang, isn't he? I mean really, we're talking about a bunch of twenty-somethings who have been ostracized and alienated throughout their entire adolescence. Now they're doing the same thing to poor old Andrew. Okay, now I'm that I've dropped that mic, I'll hop down off my soapbox.

This episode was a barrel of fun for me. Like Andrew, I am a storyteller by trade and I really envied his childlike abilitiy to create fantastical interpretations of events -- even if some were bananapants ridiculous. The boy had me in stitches, like with his pronunciations of 'vamp-IRES', and I must say, I really enjoyed being addressed as a 'gentle viewer'.

While all the others were acting like bitchy older sisters in 80s teen movies -- 'Like, oh my god, get out of my room! You're ruining my life' -- I sided with Spike on the whole Video-Gate debacle. That is to say, if it keeps Andrew occupied and out of everyone's hair, what's the big bloody deal? Sure, it's a pain when he hogs the washroom, but him playing with his whiteboard in the basement -- heyo! -- means he's not begging to go on patrol. Furthermore, I think having footage of all things to do with the final battle is a net positive. It can help the girls train, and Anya has a point, that they are doing some serious history-making shit here. There should be proper documentation. And internally, Andrew and his silly tapes actually does a lot for morale and strengthening relationships. The only downside is when he turns into...

NOT! Andrew the Liar

While it's one thing to over-hype the sex appeal that is breakfast, it's another to paint yourself as a flawless hero when you've done a lot of awful, destructive things like Andrew. While he's sworn up and down that he's sorry, it's only been as a knee-jerk reaction to appeal to the Scoobies not to hurt him/let him join the group. Andrew's never really atone for all the creepy-ass shit he did under Warren's command or over the fact that he killed his best fucking friend. As much as I enjoyed watching the Trio prance around a flower field in togas -- they came this close to winning the Fashion Slayer award -- Andrew lying to himself is psychological regression. He's not a man owning up to his mistakes; he's a boy playing Superman. Even though his big character breakthrough was hella-cheesy, I'm glad that Andrew realized his flaws for himself and was able to move on. Even if it means no more carpentry porn.

HOT! Spike the Ham

Having someone stick a camera in your face can be a fairly polarizing experience. For some of us, it can be uncomfortable, intrusive, and downright annoying, but the rest of us bask in the spotlight, with 'Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my closeup' enthusiasm. While Spike may put on a good show, and act like he's the former, we see he's really the latter, in a hilarious scene where he rehearses his bad boy, 'get that camera out of my face!' schtick with Andrew. Makes sense, because if there's two things we know about Spike, it's that he likes to play the rebel, and that playing the rebel don't mean shit if there's nobody around to watch. Spike's storylines have leaned towards the ploddingly heavy so it was nice to see some comedy with the Buffyverse's newest odd couple.

HOT! Basement sex can be confusing...

While some people at Camp Summers are all about the PDA, like Willow and Scarlett O'Hate-Ya, things are a little more gray area for others, like Anya and Xander. Once again, annoying Andrew with his stupid camera proves to do a lot of good. In an interview with the last surviving member of the Trio, the former betrothed couple are point-blank asked about their feelings, and forced to confront them. Nine months ago, it was simple. Anger and guilt, boom. But thanks to Andrew's social awkwardness, Xander and Anya are finally able to confess the truth, that they still love each other. It was a really sweet moment, and I don't blame Andrew for watching it over and over and over on his camera. Hey, anytime Spike does anything remotely sexy, I back up ten seconds on Netflix. And the poor, sex-starved Anya finally got some whoopie in the basement. But just like their first time together, back in the Harris basement, things are hella more confusing than before they mashed junk.

HOT! Breakfast at Andrew's

As I sit here writing this, it's morning. My hair is unwashed and tied into a messy bun, my breath is a cocktail of morning and coffee, and I'm wearing a twelve-year-old Livestrong tee that I refuse to get rid of because it's so comfy. But thanks to Andrew, I choose to believe I look like this in the morning:

NOT! Blood, jizz and tears

I really don't have too much to criticize this episode. The Hellmouth's greatest hits that were happening all over the high school were a little cloying, and went on a shy too long. But the one crow I have to pluck with 'Storyteller' is how they solved the problem, and closed the Seal of Danzalthar. Blood opened it, so tears must close it? Really? That's a little too cheesy fairy tale for me. And how are tears the opposite of blood? In most cases, shedding either is a bad thing. If the Seal really needed the opposite of bloodshed, shouldn't it be jizz, aka the happiest bodily fluid of all? Come on, give Andrew a little mood lighting, maybe a picture of Warren, and just let him jerk off all over the Seal. Maybe it would offend the delicate constitution that is network television, but I think I'm onto something here.

HOT! Fashion Slayer

Two words: smoking jacket. Case closed.

That's all for me this week, my lovely readers. What did you think of the episode? Did you enjoy Andrew Spielberg's shenanigans? Wonder where the hell he was when Xander and Anya were going at it in the basement? Ready to grab two of your besties, a few bed sheets, and prance around in a field declaring you are gods? Post a comment and let me know. Check in every Tuesday for my latest Buffy blog.

Dish later;

Monday, 18 July 2016

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 7.15 Get It Done

The Dish: How Spike got his groove back...

HOT! Drinking buddies

Walter White ain't got nothing on Anya and Spike's chemistry. Whether they're friends, lovers or enemies, hot damn they light up the screen together. I love that Spike was sick of the training bra squad -- right there with ya, blondie! -- and just said 'screw it' and decided to go to the pub with the most fun Scooby, aka Anya. Honestly, I'd rather watch 43 minutes of them drinking and making fun of everybody else than the episode we got. And I gots to give my girl Anya props for her horny Hail Mary pass at Spike. I sense she knew Spike would reject her, but when the world's about to end you've gotta at least try to hop on some hot blond vamp wood.

HOT! Battle of the Throbbin' Cocks

Speaking of Wood...I'm thrilled that Buffy has brought the good principal into the fold. And I adore the tension between him and Spike. I'm sure Buffy chocks it up to jealousy on Spike's part, and seeing as how Wood is the son of a deceased Slayer, it's understandable that he may not be the biggest fan of the fanged man. I know we're in for a doozy of an avenging attempt, but I really think Buffy would have figured it out. She's a curious girl, our Slayer, and I feel like she'd have a million questions about Wood's mom. Add that to the fact that she knows intimate details about Nikki's death, it all spells DUH. But I can forgive this departure from Logicville, because I am more than happy to marinate in those smoldering cockfight stare-downs.

NOT! Drill Sergeant Kennedy

Remember a couple episodes ago when I went all crazy-town banana pants and actually thought I might like Kennedy? Screw that, maggot. God, I wish she was the one to hang instead of Chloe. Why exactly was she in charge of the girls' training? I get that Buffy has to work, but couldn't Spike train them in the basement? There's always Giles, who spent countless hours training Buffy back in the day. Speaking of which, where the fuck was Giles this episode? Sure, Kennedy's one of the better fighters in the teeny bop patrol, but allowing her even an ounce of authority makes her over-inflated ego swell to Hindenburg-size. To me, she's the reverse Riley. I loved him as a character, but loathed him as Buffy's boy-toy. With Kennedy, I'm chill with her as Willow's sex poppet, but I absolutely revile her.

HOT! A potential hang-up

RIP, Chloe. What's that expression? I love to see her go, but hate to watch her leave. Okay, I know that's totally wrong for the situation. What I mean is, suicide is never a good time, but if the end result is one less babbling Potential, I'm all for it. I preferred her on 'Lizzie McGuire' anyway.

NOT! The 'everybody sucks but me' speech

I actually agree with Buffy that the Potentials have been coddled for too long. When they're not braiding each other's hair, all they do is play at being superhero. They're not much better than Andrew who, to his credit, is actually trying to come up with a strategy. But here's my problem with Buffy's speech. First, I don't think it was strategy for motivating the troops. I think Buffy was just hyper-pissed and needed to take it out on a whole mass of people. Second, and this is the doozy, it was mega-unprofessional to berate her friends in front of the Potentials. I don't know much about military etiquette, but should a general be admonishing high-ranking soldiers in front of the privates? Okay, she succeeded in rousing Spike and Willow from their self-imposed graves, but she was way too hard on Anya, who has been very useful to the group, with her knowledge and underworld connections. And much-needed sarcasm.

HOT! In the beginning...

I loved hearing the origin story of the First Slayer, that her power was forced upon her by powerful tribesman who just needed an expendable girl, aka non-person, to fight their battles. Kinda takes a big steaming shit on the whole Slayer girl-power thing, huh? I also enjoyed seeing the rampant population of Ubervamps in the Hellmouth, just waiting to attack. Even I got a little scared, and I hate Ubers more than cab drivers!

FASHION SLAYER! Yeah baby, he's back

FINALLY! We have the perfect medley of soul-having Spike and badass Spike. Buffy should give him a tongue-lashing in front of the Powderpuff Girls more often -- of the verbal or sexual variety. The Slayer's words were enough to light a fire under Blondie Bear's ass and he went out and snagged him a portal demon. Sexy Spike is back, and it was all symbolized by that jacket. Could I have given the Fashion Slayer award to anyone else?

That's all for me this week, my lovely readers. What did you think of the episode? Wish you could have gone to the pub with Anya and Spike? Exactly how putrid is Kennedy on a scale of very to gastronomically? Buffy's speech -- bitchy or justified? Post a comment and let me know. Check in every Tuesday for my latest Buffy blog. 

Dish later;

Monday, 11 July 2016

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 7.14 First Date

The Dish: Buffy gets Throbbin' Wood for the principal.

HOT! Not your average sexypants principal...

Okay, I like me some Robin Wood eye candy as much as the last horny bloggeress, but I was getting a liiittle weary of his static storyline of being all clandestine with a shovel. Now his cat is out of the bag, and it's big and juicy. I like that he's on Team Good Guy, as opposed to being another agent of the First. There's only so many Uber-vamps and alphabet monks a girl can stand.

What I really dig about Wood is that he can be a very funny character, yet still possess a simmering darkness. Seriously, I think early-Buffy Angel could have learned from this guy. How funny was Wood when he asked Buffy out and super-awkwardly joked about it not being harassment? I never though anyone could be described as Don Draper meets Michael Scott, but there you have it. And how exciting is it that he's Nikki the Vampire Slayer's avenging son? As if Wood didn't have enough reason to hate Spike, as they are both part of an unwitting love triangle with the Buffster in the middle. That last scene with Nikki/The First was so powerful. Wood knows that his apparition of his mother is nothing more than the forces of evil, and that the First obviously wants Spike dead, but at the same time, you can see that our young principal has a throbbin' desire to introduce Spike to his wood. Sadly, I mean his stake.

NOT! Dating faux pas

Who knew Wood was such a foodie? That restaurant he took Buffy to looked all kinds of swanky. But umm, yeah hi, I get it's supposed to be all 'best kept secret in town'y but having the front door in a dark alley in bloody Sunnydale is a recipe for disaster. Case in point: Buffy and Wood got attacked. True, they're both scourges of the underworld, but how easy would it be for vamps to prey on unsuspecting hipster patrons who are just looking for the next trendy bite? Furthermore, what the hell were Buffy and Wood wearing? Sure, they both looked hot, but they're not at a damn baseball game. Buffy had a nice top on, but who wears light-colored jeans to a fancy French restaurant? At least she has the defense of not knowing where they were going. What's Wood's excuse? He wears flattering suits to work all day, yet when he takes a lady out on the town he decides to dress like Xander at the construction site? Maybe next time the First decides to come around in a Nikki disguise, it should scold the good principal for being so under-dressed.

NOT! The First cockblocking Spuffy

I may be in the minority here, but I so hated lovesick puppy Spike, and really dig this mature, quiet one. I think that he is a result of a soul-having, post-Rapegate Spike. You don't really get to make moon eyes at someone after you try to force them to have sex. The biggest irony of the whole situation is that now that Spike knows, and is comfortable with not being able to be with Buffy, Buffy gets super-attracted to him. Call me crazy, but if all this crazy drama with the First was not a factor, I really think these two crazy kids would have a shot. Then again, I might be butterfly effecting everything because if the First wasn't in the picture, Buffy would have no need for Spike to be around, and would probably want him to stay far away. As for this whole chip thing, strategically I think General Buffy made the right call on letting one of her most powerful allies out of the penalty box. But I do agree with Giles that this wasn't the Slayer's sole purpose for removing the chip. Indeed, Buffy and Spike may be keeping things workplace professional for now but it's only a matter of time before their powder-keg boner of sexual tension jizzes all over the place.

HOT! Return of the sexy fuddy-duddy

I'm a proud non-parent, but I really sympathize with Giles and his paternal role in the group. Last season, he cut the cord with Buffy and the gang, much like a parent does when their kid is in their early 20s and needs to learn to do things for themselves. But then there's the painful blowback when the kid does do things for themselves and everything goes tits up. In Giles's eyes, that's what's happening here. He no longer has the authority to forbid Buffy from going on a date, but he still has to suffer the consequences. And if these were the good ole days, Giles would wield a lot more weight in the remove vs. repair chip debate. In the battle against evil, Giles has been demoted from general to...I'm not a military type, but some high-ranking soldier that's below general. If it were up to me, there would be a complete role reversal, and Giles would go all Ripper on everyone's ass. Hot.

HOT! (ish) Xander the Demon Magnet

Really, other than getting a blast from the early 2000s past with the appearance of Ashanti, the whole Lissa plot didn't do too much for me. I didn't think she had crackling chemistry with Xander, nor did I want her around from the last eight episodes of the show. Sure it was funny, in a soft chuckle kinda way, that Xander attracted yet another demon chick, but that was about as high as it went on the amusement factor.

However, I really appreciated the feelings of jealousy it instilled in Anya. While I don't think Anya entirely wants Xander back -- pride and logic prevent her from doing so -- she still has feelings for him. So while she doesn't want him back, she doesn't want the world's greatest boot to the ego... your ex moving on. As always, our favorite ex-vengeance demon was all kinds of funny pretending not to care about Xander.

NOT! Andrew's forced redemption

The real strength of the First is that, amidst all its mua-ha-ha evil, it really drops some truth bombs on the Scoobies. The First, in the form of Jonathan, was right IMHO: why is Andrew the only one forced to seek redemption? I suppose a case could be made that Willow and Spike both left the country when they got all respectively flay and rape happy. And Anya was willing to sacrifice herself (stupidly) to resurrect those frat guys. But I'm getting tired of Andrew being the group whipping boy. Especially after he firmly sided with Team Good Guy by wearing a wire against the First. Fellow outsider Dawn is really the only one who treats him with a modicum of respect, citing Andrew's bravery. Xander especially should get down off his high horse, because the two clearly like the same kind of comic books and pop culture. Plus, Xander stated a desire to be 'gayed up'. Methinks Andrew could help him there...

FASHION SLAYER! Buffy the Demurity Slayer

When Buffy bumped into Spike in her upstairs hallway, you'd think it was the 19th century and she accidentally exposed her nubile ankle. Yes, that gorgeous shirt is a camisole, but she's worn more revealing clothes to school. I say if you've got it, flaunt it. Or in the case of a fellow small-boobed lady, if you don't got it, wear clothes that make it look like you do! Really, Buffy should have just worn that on her date. It's not any less appropriate than Wood's outfit. Plus, it has the added benefit of winning this week's Fashion Slayer award. Congrats, Buffy!

That's all for me this week, my lovely readers. What did you think about Wood's secret? Chipgate -- are you Team Buffy or Team Giles? Do you think Andrew deserves to be a full-fledged Scooby? Post a comment and let me know. Check in every Tuesday for my latest Buffy blog.

Dish later;

Monday, 4 July 2016

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 7.13 The Killer in Me

The Dish: Warren gets inside Willow (and not in the way you were all secretly hoping for!)

HOT! Kennedy? My least favorite character? Fiddle dee dee!

What the Hellmouth is happening? I could have sworn I hated Kennedy. Loathed her. Cursed the imaginary ground her imaginary self walked on. But upon this rewatch, though she had an awful introduction, like Dawn I find myself -- dare I say it? -- warming up to her.

I think I've cracked the case on Kennedy. I despise her as a Potential. She hasn't seen/experienced/fought nearly enough to justify that cocky, seen it all before, tough gal 'tude. Really, Andrew has more street cred than her. But Kennedy the woman? Me like. She's confident and flirty, without shoving it down your throat. Mostly, what's likable about Kennedy is her taste in women. You can't do much better than Willow. She really sees Willow for who she is, and when Kennedy compliments her, she's not just blowing smoke up Willow's ass. She really sees something special and sexy in our redhead. Plus, bonus points for falling in love with Scarlett O'Hara, aka my favorite film/literary character of all time!

I think the reason I hated Kennedy so much is that I was very much like a weary, jealous kid who doesn't like the new person my single parent is dating, because they're not as special as Mom/Dad. Kennedy is nowhere close to the level of fabulousness that Oz/Tara was. So I wrote her off. But how often is every single romantic relationship an epic love saga? Sometimes it's just as simple as, 'hey I think you're cute, wanna bone?'. And I can get behind that.

NOT! Chips ahoy!

Spike and the chip? Again? That thing should have died with the Initiative. Between the chip not working on a post-resurrected Buffy, and the First being able to hit its off switch, I sort of (blissfully) forgot it existed. I really didn't care to have a whole B story of an episode taken up for it. In fact, I much would have preferred Giles at the pedophile convention (more on that later).

Seriously, how much of this story was Spike writhing around on the floor like a worm on Ritalin? If it wasn't for Buffy's worried expression, I would have thought it was done for comedy. On two, count 'em, two occasions, Spike drops to the ground in agony and it takes the gang a good minute to look up from their conversation to notice. As for the whole Initiative revisit...could they not have got Riley? I really liked his 'assface' comment delivered by proxy, but the whole repair vs. remove deal with the chip would have been so much more poignant had Buffy been forced to make the call to Riley instead of that rando commando. Either way, I'm happy to kiss this sub-par Season 4 plotline goodbye.

HOT! Always time for your bestie

The show is ending, the Biggest of the Baddest is coming to make the world its butt-monkey. Got it. But I love that throughout Bringers, the Ubervamp, and a gaggle of dumb-bum Potentials, Buffy and Willow still have time to be BFFs. It was a small scene, really a set-up for the episode, but it was a sweet moment when Willow was making tea for Kennedy and Buffy teased her about it, in the 'do you liiiiike her' variety. Even if the world is doomed, there's nothing more exciting than the thrill of the romantic chase, especially if it involves your true blue BFF.

NOT! Sabrina the Teenage Bitch

Can we all agree that Amy is the worst? You know, I could understand her wanting to enact revenge on Willow for failing to turn her from rat to human for three years, but wanting to take Willow down a peg because she's just better than you at life is so petty and pathetic. And that's pretty much a theme with Amy: patheticness. Whether it's attempting a love spell or a transfiguration spell, they tend to all go tits up for ole Aimes, don't they? Well congrats, one finally worked. Doesn't make you any less pathetic and sad. Bitch.

HOT! Giles + not touching underage girls = evil

This storyline was a riot. Really, the Scoobies should be touching each other all the time -- I've long since said so -- because who knows if they're an agent of the First? Remember how long Eve had them all fooled? But let's back up to when Giles leaves for the desert with the girls. Sure, if I was a Potential, I'd be inclined to trust a group of strangers who repeatedly saved my life from alphabet-eyed assassins, but did it ever occur to one of these girls that the whole thing might be the world's most elaborate rouse to win Giles's trust, only so he could take me to the desert and have his way with me? Okay, while I may be totally into that, I'm sure the average 15-year-old would retort with a big 'hell, no'! Obviously this whole idea is a tad far-fetched, but I found it hilarious when Giles mentioned not touching the girls after being tackled by the Scoobies + Andrew. SUCH better comedy than Spike wriggling on the ground like a tasered garter snake.

HOT! The Grieving Willow

When Willow got all shy and ladylike after Kennedy questioned her about identifying as gay, I was surprised. Willow's been gay for awhile. But then I got it. Willow is less about identifying herself as a concrete label, and more about the individual person she loves. She's never had any other lesbian relationships other than with Tara. So even though Willow came out, and was open about her romance with Tara, it wasn't this grand statement about being gay, so much as publicly acknowledging her love for one person. Willow's never really had to think about her sexual identity since Tara's death until Kennedy came along.

As for dealing with Tara's death, Willow really put a wrench in the whole 'five stages of grieving' thing, after she embraced the anger part with a little too much verve. After Flay-a-palooza, Willow had to concentrate on herself and getting better with her magic. Time took care of the rest, and Willow never really processed that the love of her life was gone. I don't even think Willow herself realized she was still clinging to that love until another woman walked into the picture. Deep stuff, man.

FASHION SLAYER! The flayed misogynist

I think we can all consent that Warren is vile and icky. Back when he was alive, he tended to wear baggy, wrinkled plaid shirts or the skeeziest lounge lizard suits you ever did see. But when he takes over Willow's life, hot damn, does he look good. Just a simple, gray long-sleeved tee, combined with a little bit of bed head adorableness and that's all she wrote. If I may point out, this is the first episode Warren got a consensual kiss from a human woman. Maybe if he discovered the art of dressing properly years ago, he would have had more luck with the ladies and not been such a misogynistic asshole. Fashion saves lives, people!

That's all for me this week, my lovely readers. What did you think of the episode? Am I crazy to start liking Kennedy? Wish the Initiative just stayed buried? Was this the best Warren has ever looked? Post a comment and let me know. Check in every Tuesday for my latest Buffy blog.

Dish later;

Monday, 27 June 2016

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 7.12 Potential

Dawn has the potential to follow in Buffy's footsteps. (Spike, get your shackles ready!)

HOT! A Bitty Buffy

What? A Dawn-centric episode that I love? How is this possible? Other than grinding up on RJ's junk, we really haven't seen a ton from the Dawnster this season. She's really been overshadowed by all these cloying Potentials, and while this isn't lost on me, it's all the poor niblit can think about. Really, Dawn has a raw deal. Buffy was barely there for Dawn last year -- I guess getting ripped out of heaven can do that to a girl -- and now that Dawn finally has big sister back, there's this big, brewing evil. What makes it worse is the Potentials -- you're preaching to the choir here -- are Dawn's age, and it may sound harsh, but they are more important than her, because they could save the world.

But while Dawn may not be a Potential, man alive, can she kick some serious ass. I freaking loved that montage of Buffy coaching the girls, telling them to know your surroundings and trust your instincts, over-top of Dawn doing exactly that. Sure, it was Dawn's confidence about her new Potential status that got her to go with Amanda back to the school to take out the vamp, but the little bit got the job done, all without Slayer strength. My favorite part was when she wanted to break the flagpole, was too weak to do it, so she just smashed it on the desk. Just goes to show, you don't have to be strong to be badass.

HOT! A League of Extraordinary Gentleman (and Lady)

We've gots to talk about that speech. This is the Xander I know and love. Anyone with the slightest sense of compassion -- who isn't busy training teenage girls for the end of the world -- could see that Dawn was upset. But Xander was the perfect person to talk to Dawn because he knows what that feels like. We really haven't heard much on Xander's insecurities in awhile, and that's because he's made peace with them. But it doesn't mean they're gone, and it doesn't mean the sting is any less harsh when he is reminded, yet again, that is the one who is not chosen.

He hit the nail on the head, Dawn really is extraordinary. Think about it, even when the writing was on the wall that Amanda was the Potential, Dawn could have totally played dumb and pretended to be a Potential. Who would have known the difference? But it didn't even occur to the Dawnster to do that. Cheers to Dawn, and cheers to Xander, who should totally give motivational speeches to teen girls.

HOT! A likable Potential? WTF?

If you've been following this blog, you'll know I'm no fan of the Potentials. But I freaking love Amanda. Such subtle foreshadowing that she was just another kid in Buffy's guidance counselor montage and, in her sweet Minnie Mouse voice, proudly spoke of beating the crap out of a bully who picked on her. Just as I loved her character Millie on 'Freaks and Geeks', the brilliant Sarah Hagan brings a lot to the table. I would argue that Amanda is the most adept Potential we've seen thus far, and it just goes to show you don't need to be a badass like Faith -- or wannabe badass, like Kennedy -- or a confident stunner like Buffy, to be a Slayer. Sometimes the protector of the world is a shy, geeky kid from swing choir with an adorably terrifying bloodlust for the marching band.

HOT! Size does matter, and I like it small

Get your minds out of the gutter, readers. I'm talking about the Potentials. There really is no point in me bemoaning their existence. Just like Dawn, they're here and they're here to stay, so I might as well get used to them. While they played a pivotal role this episode, no individual Potential, save Amanda, had a very meaty role, and as a result they became more likable. Last week, I hoped and prayed that Ubervamp would make a meal out of the likes of Kennedy and Rona, but this episode, they both made me laugh. When Buffy straddled Spike in her mock-patrol lesson, Rona quietly muttered 'that's hot'. What?! The former Debbie Downer is now a girl after my own heart.

I also appreciate a gal who can take any statement about any mundane whatever, and turn it into a sexual innuendo. I really appreciated when Rona commented about liking the feel of wood in her hand, and Kennedy replied with 'lost me there'. So witty! I really think these Potentials missed their calling as a raunchy Greek chorus.

HOT! O (Sir) Captian, My Captain

How long do you think it's been between this episode and the last, which ended with Buffy rescuing Spike from the basement? Not too long right. Probably not long enough for Spike to be fully emotionally recovered from being tortured by the First, in the form of ex-paramours Buffy and Dru. But to that I say, who bloody cares? I am over broody Spike. It was getting to the point I was having flashbacks to Angel. I think Buffy found the perfect niche for Spike, as fellow Potential trainer. He's the perfect person, having played both sides of the good and evil fence. And he for sure gets a kick out of picking on the Potentials. If I were Vi in the cemetery, held helpless prisoner by Spike -- lucky bitch! -- I would definitely be calling him 'sir', but I'd be less wince, more wet.

HOT! The new Scooby Gang mascot

'You're like a dog, begging for Snausages', Buffy says to Andrew, upon him begging to go on patrol for the umpteenth time. Andrew really is the poster boy for pathetic try-hard. In fact, that's how Dawn knows she's hit rock bottom, when Andrew asks her if she wants to play 'Dragon Ball Z', and Dawn really has nothing better to do. But while Andrew may be a loser, he's officially the Scoobies' loser. While they haven't exactly embraced him with open arms, they haven't cut him loose either. And to boot, he's no longer restrained to a chair -- boy, Anya's hand must have been getting sore -- and he's also permitted to help the gang in small doses. I loved Willow repressing an eye-roll when Andrew makes a meal out of passing her snake skin for a spell. I'm happy for Andrew. Even though he doesn't have a seat at the table, nobody's kicking him out of the room.

NOT! Anya and Buffy: Misguidance Counselors 

Let's be honest, Buffy herself is no great shakes at her job. When she bothers to show up at all -- I think 'Potential' saw her go to work for an earth-shattering two hours -- she responds the kids' problems with incoherent half-sentences about her own adult life. But the Buffster is Hilary Swank in 'Freedom Writers' compared to Anya. Man, should she not be talking to teens. When Dawn thinks she might be the next Slayer, it's a shitload of info and emotions to process, particularly because that would mean the death of her sister. But Anya just chimes in with something to the effect of 'one second you're this kleptomaniac nothing, and now you're special enough to be destined for an early grave'. I laughed out loud when Dawn ran away to her room, and Anya's genuine response was to kick the freaking door down. Cameron Diaz's 'Bad Teacher' aint got nothing on this ex-vengeance demon.

HOT! Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I really dig Buffy's look this season. She so looks better with the ash blonde hair as opposed to the honey. And man alive, has she mastered the simple and classy, sexy yet badass Slayer look, which has everything to do with her black, V-neck long-sleeved tees. I modeled a lot of my high school wardrobe off this look, so suffice it to say, Buffy wins this week's Fashion Slayer award.

That's all for me this week, my lovely readers? What did you think of the episode? I'm Team Amanda, but who's your favorite Potential? That 'extraordinary' speech, contender for best Xander moment of all time? If you're STILL a Dawn hater, can you tell me why? Post a comment and let me know. Check in every Tuesday for my latest Buffy blog.

Dish later;

Monday, 20 June 2016

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 7.11 Showtime

The Dish: If the Potentials continue to be this annoying, I am so #TeamBringer.

HOT! All About Eve

Let's start on a positive note, because overall, I did really like this episode. I hate the Potentials. Okay, that was a shitty attempt at being positive. But come on, show of hands, who really, truly likes them? Here's what I do like: the Eve misdirect. That was a great twist, and really showed the First's insidiousness. While the Scoobies may very well be saving the world but opening their doors to any and all Potentials, they are also opening up to more opportunities for the First to worm its way into their minds. More stranger, more danger, if you will. Nothing ratchets up the conflict like the 'trust no one' philosophy.

NOT! Ultimate Annoying Champion: Rona vs. Kennedy

This episode we were introduced to Debbie Downer, Rona. Just when we thought we had washed our hands clean of the sadsack overalls, Rona steps off the bus to Sunnydale clad in a tent of denim. Hey Potentials, if you're really scared of the Bringers/Ubervamp/First, just hide in Rona's can all fit! Fair enough, these girls have every right to be scared. And I for sure would be questioning my safety, with only the Scoobies watching my back. But Rona almost seems to take glee in shitting all over Buffy's plans and pep talks. I got news for you, Dungaree Girl, training under Buffy is really the best option you've got. Where else do you think you can go and be safe, huh?

Really, she's almost as bad as Kennedy. I can't believe it, but I was proud of Willow's new stalker when she pooh-poohed the negativity of Rona and the other girls. But of course, Kennedy had to keep going and say some wannabe tough-girl drivel, as if to seem like she's been fighting evil alongside the Scoobies for years, instead of luxuriating in her own private wing of her summer home.

HOT! Here endeth the Ubervamp

Buffy was on like Lady Donkey Kong this ep. There are many who can give a rousing speech, like Buffy did last week. But how many leaders can back up those speeches with effective action? Buffy spoke about seeking out her fears, and when she saw that she was losing the Potentials to Camp Doom and Gloom -- led by Rona -- Buffy put the kabbash on that bullshit by going after Ubervamp. Even though it was stronger and a better fighter, Buffy's determination and will won out in the end. Not only am I so proud of our Slayer, but I'm also happy there's a respite in having to shake my head in disbelief that this Mini-Me vampire is something to actually be feared.

Side-bar: I loved the mind-chatting between the three Scoobies, how we didn't know what was going on at first but then we got a flashback to their conversation. I just have one quibble. I know that Willow can communicate via mind, so even if Buffy initiated it, I buy that. But how were Buffy and Xander able to talk when they don't have that kind of power? Was Willow's power anchoring the whole conversation? If you can shed some light on this, post in the comments.

HOT! Operation Basement Rescue

Spike getting dragged back into the hellpit that is the basement of Sunnydale High was just lame-o jame-o. What purpose did it serve, other than us getting to see Dru again? Thankfully these cloying scenes had way less camera time than last week. But honestly, I didn't buy the question of 'Will Buffy come for me or won't she?' when it was pretty clear Buffy had every desire to get Spike out of the basement ASAP. Still, I can't harp on this too much when I am tickled pink by the end result.

NOT! I've got my (many) eye(s) on you

What is it with this season and having grave, dramatic moments completely undercut by funny-looking demons? First there's Uber, now this episode it's the eyeballs in a cage oracle, aka Beljoxa's Eye. It delivers Giles and Anya a huge piece of information, that the First is able to go after the Potentials because Buffy being resurrected fucked up the natural Slayer line. But all I'm thinking as I'm watching this scrotum of eyes talk is that it looks half-silly, half-gross.

FASHION SLAYER! There's a new blondie bear in town

When that demon rejects Anya's offer for sex, my jaw hit the floor. The poor girl ain't got a great batting average this season, first being turned down by Spike, and then by this workin' man demon. What is bloody wrong with these guys? Anya is sex on a stick especially now that she's gone back to blonde. Her golden tresses really suit her more than those dramatic brown ones, and while I'm no creepy Kennedy, I was all kinds of ready to jump on that sexy ex-demon ass. Congratulations to Anya the blonde. May you have more fun in your reign as this week's Fashion Slayer.

That's all for me this week, my lovely readers. What did you think of the episode? Who's your Ultimate Annoying Champion -- Kennedy or Rona? Or is it another potential entirely? Do you wish that, like Buffy and Xander, you too could study mind communication under Willow? Anya -- blonde or brunette? Post a comment and let me know. Check in every Tuesday for my latest Buffy blog.

Dish later;