Tuesday, 19 May 2015

Buffy the Vampire Slayer -- The Best and Worst of Season 4

Another Buffy season has come and gone at The Liz Channel. We've laughed, we've cried, we've rolled our eyes, we've yearned for the far superior Season 3. No, Season 4 was definitely not Buffy's finest hour...but it had its moments, and it's time to relive them in....

The Best and Worst of Season 4

Character Moments:

Buffy
I had the toughest time picking between two moments until I realized...it's my damn blog, I can say two if I want. I've categorized them as best Buffy the Vampire Slayer Moment and best Buffy the Woman moment:



Slayer - When Buffy gets her voice back and screams, killing the Gentlemen in Hush.
The whole show is a refreshing take on the classic trope of the blonde girl in the horror movie, helpless and screaming. So when the only way to defeat the Gentlemen was not with brute force and violence, but to scream like a little girl, oh did Buffy deliver!




Woman - When Buffy reconciled with Willow, and told her that she supported her relationship with Tara in Primeval.
Buffy's a great friend, but sometimes when she gets a shiny new boyfriend, she can be a tad neglectful of the Scooby Gang. Also, it's Buffy's first year of college and friends grow apart. But after Buffy kind of freaked out at Willow's coming out, and then dismissed Willow and Xander as dead weight to the cause, Buffy realized the error of her ways. Not only did she apologize, but she made sure Willow knew she loved her, and supported her. These besties are just the bee's knees!

Xander




When have gave the uplifting pep talk to Buffy in The Freshman.
This was not a strong season for Xander. Despite his relationship with the fantastic Anya, Xander went from being 'one of the gang' to 'guy who lives in his parents' basement while his friends go off to college'. Xander sometimes feels a little too sorry for himself, but he sure as shit ain't going to let his friends feel the same. When Buffy was down in the dumps about not taking to college and getting her cute ass handed to her by lame-o vamp Sunday, Xander lifted Buffy's spirits and she was victorious in the end. How can you NOT get pumped up after someone says 'let's put this bitch in the ground!'?

Willow




Picking Tara over Oz in New Moon Rising.
Willow spent a good long time mourning the loss of Oz -- as did I! -- but a shy, voluptuous Wiccaan named Tara changed everything. Willow was initially afraid of her feelings for Tara, lying abut her to the Scoobies, but she could not help but succumb to love. That's when Oz comes rolling back into town, wanting to reconcile with Willow. The redhead is torn between the familiar great love she had with a man who broke her heart, and the new scary love she could have with a girl who has been nothing but sweet. When it becomes painfully clear that Oz and Willow really can't be together, Willow goes to Tara and a beautiful relationship is born.

Giles




Scaring the crap out of Maggie Walsh in A New Man.
Unemployed and less depended on by Buffy and the gang, Giles struggled with his purpose this season. Salt was added to his wounds when Maggie Walsh cruelly called that purpose into question, saying she believed Buffy suffers from not having a present father figure. So when prankster Ethan Rayne turned Giles into a Fyarl demon, the good ex-Watcher took advantage of his new predicament...by getting revenge on Maggie, scaring her half to death.

Riley




Punching out the Colonel in New Moon Rising.
An obedient soldier to the core, Riley started questioning his entire belief system after Buffy exposed the darker side of the Initiative. Riley tried to walk the line between duty and morality but after he got arrested for trying to smuggle Oz out of the Initiative -- after the poor werewolf was tortured -- Riley decided enough was enough and delivered the old one-two to the douchey Colonel. You go, anarchist!

Spike




Getting his mojo back in Doomed.
Violence is what defines Spike, so when the Initiative implanted a chip in his brain, causing the blond vamp intense pain if he hurt a living creature, Spike felt useless and impotent. He even attempted suicide via stake. But when the Scoobies battled with apocalyptic demons, Spike instinctively decked one of them...and discovered the chip doesn't prevent him from doing violence to demons. Full of piss and vinegar, Spike's sense of purpose is renewed. Oh yeah, baby, he's back.

Anya




Telling Xander she loves him in Primeval.
More than anyone else, Anya had a cornucopia of moments to choose from. The girl is comedic gold. Her brutally honest observations, her lack of a filter when it comes to talking about sex, gotta love her. But my favourite moment was when she saw Xander hurting after a very personal argument with the Scoobies, and she told Xander it shouldn't matter because he would always have her...and that she was falling in love with him. Though Anya's raw emotions are largely played for laughs, they are on occasion totally heart-warming.

Tara




Realizing that Buffy isn't Buffy in Who Are You?
When Tara first meets Buffy, the Slayer is an absolute bitch, making fun of Tara's stutter and rubbing it in her face that Oz and Willow were sooooo in love. The reason for that is Buffy was actually Faith...in Buffy's body. As hurt as Tara was by the searing comments, she had enough intuition to realize that Buffy wasn't herself, and that was the key to getting things back the way they were. No wonder the First Slayer picked Tara as a conduit. I l-l-l-love this girl.

Best and Worst Episodes:

Best Episode: Hush




I truly believe this is the most innovative episode television has ever seen. Just pulling off an episode where the characters don't talk is a gargantuan feat, but to pull it off and have a rockin' story on your hands is just brilliant. The Gentlemen are, hands down, the scariest villains the show has ever seen. And their MO, stealing voices so you can't scream while they cut out your heart...yeeeeeeeeeesh. Then there was the brilliant bawdy comedy, with Buffy making a stabbing motion that looked like a a hand job, and Anya simulating sex. We had Buffy and Riley kiss for the first time, only to discover each other's true identities. That ending, after the day is saved and everyone has their voices back, when Buffy and Riley can't find the words to talk....brilliant. Simply brilliant.

Worst Episode: Beer Bad




Buffy turns into a cavewoman. That's the episode. Wow. Though there were some gems  -- Willow calling Parker out for being a huge douche, Buffy beating Parker with a club, really anything shitty that happened to Parker -- it was a mess. The premise: a bitter bartender gets 'revenge' on obnoxious co-eds by drugging their beer with a potion that turns them into cavemen. In what universe is this revenge, when the people who get punished are the poor souls who encounter these grunting frat-boy neanderthals? And to our knowledge, the evil bartender didn't get reprimanded in the end! Watching the bountiful skills of Sarah Michelle Gellar be absolutely wasted on a character who limps and grunts for the better part of the episode was just painful.

Funniest Episode: Pangs




I know, I know, there's no love lost in the Buffy community for the Thanksgiving shenanigans of the Scoobies, but I am always thrilled to watch it. I crack up every other minute. Xander's reaction to his syphilis, Anya's glib response, Spike's dry sarcasm, Willow and Giles's bickering, and who can forget, 'A bear! You made a bear! Undo it! Undo it!' Best Thanksgiving ever.

Season 4 Fashion Slayer

As the gang gets older, their styles mature, resulting in some tres sexy outfits. However, there can only be one Fashion Slayer for the season and the winner is...


WILLOW

When she graduated high school, Willow left behind her painfully dorky style in favour of a hipper hair cut, and a flirty bohemian look. Deeelicious. I don't know how Tara kept it in her pants so long.

Buuuut...I still enjoyed this sexy throwback to Willow's old style, in her dream in Restless.




That's all for my Best and Worst of Season 4 blog, my lovely readers. What did you think? What's your favourite episode? Any key character moments I missed? Happy to be done with Adam and the Initiative? Post a comment and let me know. Check in every Tuesday for my latest Buffy blog. Next up: Season 5!

Dish later;
Liz

Tuesday, 12 May 2015

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 4.22 Restless

The Dish: I dream of death, cheese, and hot lesbians.


After the big battle with Adam, the Scooby Gang is wired. Without a doubt, they're gonna be up all night. But like most little kids who are allowed to stay up until midnight on New Year's Eve, this happens...


Willow dreams of starting drama class and being the only one who doesn't know her lines for the play, 'Death of a Salesmen According to Giles', complete with milkmaid, cowboy and flapper. Saved by the knife! Before she's to take the stage, Willow gets attacked only to be rescued by Buffy who pulls her into a classroom, where Willow is once again the school loser. She gets mocked by the Scooby Gang, until some primal force tackles her. That's one way to get out of homework!


Xander's dream is next. Amidst the sexed-up women in his life -- Joyce, Willow and Tara -- Xander insists that he doesn't want to be a Watcher like Giles, or apprentice Spike, because he's got his whole life ahead of him...only to watch himself working the ice cream truck. Throughout the sexy women and a creepy encounter with Principal Snyder, Xander keeps coming back to his basement hellhole. There, he's berated by his verbally abusive dad until Pops literally rips out Xander's heart. Mr. Harris then morphs into the primal spirit of Willow's dream.


Dreamland Giles is up next. It's there that the Scooby Gang has a research party at The Bronze, and figures out -- via a sexy song from crooner Giles -- that their enjoinment spell unleashed some primal force that's trying to kill them in their dreams. But now he must warn Buffy!


Cue our Slayer. Ironically, Buffy picks up where Faith left off, in the good Slayer's household bedroom. Buffy is joined by Tara who gives her a cryptic message: 'You think you know what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun'. Buffy finds herself alone in the desert where she is confronted with the primal spirit...and she is that of the First Slayer. Numero Uno isn't too happy about the gang's little spell, as she voices through Tara. She attacks Buffy, they rumble, and the dream curse is broken. The Scoobies wake up, but Buffy can't get Tara's eerie words out of her head...



Liz's BITES:
* How refreshing to have a truly inventive episode as a conclusion to the lackluster Season 4. I loved the subtle hints about the future of Season 5, like 'be back before 'Dawn''. I also thought the villain of the First Slayer was fabulous -- totally kicked Adam's (lack of bad)ass. I find it fascinating that she was so offended about Buffy spiritually joining forces with the gang, that she wanted to kill them. Genius. Welcome back, 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'.


* I rather enjoyed the darkness surrounding Willow's dreams, something we don't get a lot with her. I was very intrigued by this fear of hers about people seeing the real her, though this doesn't pay off until much later in the series. This is juxtaposed with the other fear that she will always be the nerd who gets walked all over. My stomach was literally churning when I watched Tara and Oz flirt with each other.


* Was it not hysterical that in both Willow and Buffy's dreams, Riley was portrayed as a dopey do-gooder? Whether it be 'Cowboy Guy' or the Special Agent who has life or death missions such as 'filing things and giving them names' and building forts with Adam, it's pretty clear how 'important' Riley is to the cause.


* So we got to see what Human Adam looks like. Though I could do with a little less clothing, he is just as hot as before...but unfortunately, just as boring.


* Though throughout the season, we've been beaten over the head with a shovel about Xander's insecurities, it's a lot different when they're literally in his head. Despite having the devoted Anya in his corner, Xander is in a dark, dark place. That POW camp scene with Principal Snyder calling Xander the proverbial whipping boy made my heart break. I hope better things happen for him next season.


* How hilarious was Sideshow Spike in Giles's dream? I thought his goofy mugging was a perfect metaphor for Spike himself this season -- sexy as hell, fun, but ultimately useless. Like Xander, I want more for the blondie bear.


* Though of course, it's the insightful Spike who calls Giles out. For a year now, Giles has been walking the line between two worlds -- desperately wanting to be Buffy's Watcher again, but also backing off and living a more civilian life, performing gigs at the Espresso Pump and shagging Olivia, and Spike points out that Ripper's gotta make a choice. If his so-sexy-I'm-still-twitching musical number was any indication, it looks like Giles chooses Team Scooby!


* The spirit of the First Slayer chose Tara as her mouthpiece. Kinda makes you wonder if Tara herself was dreaming this too Maybe that's why she and the tarted-up Willow ran off before Xander could have a slice.


* Well, Buffy's dream sure flew in the face of the whole 'I need my friends' theme of last week. She was too busy rubbing mud on her face to save them. But the dentally-challenged First Slayer's message was clear, that in the end, Buffy will be alone.


* This week's Fashion Slayer award goes to the none other than the dreamy... Willow Rosenberg, for her way back playback, shy submissive schoolgirl outfit. If I were having a girly fantasy about Willow -- not that I ever have, ahem -- this is what she'd be wearing.


* Care for some cheese?


That's all for me this week, my lovely readers. What did you think of the episode? Dreamy or dopey? Wish you could hang out in Xander's wet dreams more often? Have a sudden craving for cheese? Post a comment and let me know. Check in every Tuesday for my latest Buffy blog.

Dish later;
Liz

Sunday, 10 May 2015

Top Ten TV Moms...According to Liz

It's Mother's Day! Some of you may be serving your mom breakfast in bed, making flowers, presenting cards, but someone out there has to think of the TV moms, and that someone is me.

These badass ladies are known to lend a sympathetic ear, offer sage advice, or slit the throat of a poor fool who dares threaten their young. Happy Mother's Day to the Top Ten TV Moms:


10. Lynette Scavo, Desperate Housewives



While her friends are busy having affairs with gardeners, drinking themselves into a WASPy stupor, or chasing the neighbourhood plumber, Lynette is busy raising a whole brood of kids, some of which are unholy terrors. This woman manages to make costumes for the school play, defend her kids against gossipy soccer moms, hold a full-time job and put dinner on the table for her whole household. Her hot but dopey man-child of husband does absolutely nothing to help, and is only good for an unprotected role in the hay...resulting in yet another kid for Lynette to raise.
What to get her: Condoms.


9. Cindy Walsh, Beverly Hills 90210



Having the odious Brenda Walsh for a daughter is reason enough to put Cindy on the list, but week after week, this woman has shown she is a fabulous mother, not just to her kids but to their friends as well. She helps Dylan with his daddy issues, Kelly and Steve with their mommy issues, and even mothers the parents as well.
What to get her: A chic therapist's couch.


8. Alicia Florrick, The Good Wife



This is one mom who does it all...and looks better doing it than I do on my best day. Alicia excels at her job as a high-powered lawyer, without ever neglecting her kids. Sure, the Florrick youth aren't exactly difficult pups, but they still have their fair share of standard teen problems (Christianity, Becca, etc), and Alicia is always there for them no matter what. There is not enough hours in the day to do all the things Alicia does.
What to get her: A day at the spa...ALONE


7. Claire Dunphy, Modern Family



Sure, Claire's a little anal and neurotic...but who wouldn't be when they have to contend with a crazy extended family, a billion activities, and a daffy husband? Claire stays up all night comforting Alex when she's sad she has no friends, and is able to suss out Hailey losing her virginity to Dylan, while coolly keeping it from Phil. So pay attention to that calendar, dammit Dunphys!
What to get her: Noise-cancelling headphones


6. Joyce Summers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer



In the past, Joyce has been known to kick Buffy out of the house in anger, and later try and burn her at the stake. She's not what you'd call the perfect mom...but who is? Considering that your daughter is a freaking vampire slayer, with a life expectancy of 25-years-old MAX, I'm surprised Joyce isn't a raving alcoholic...though she does like her schnapps. Joyce is always happy to listen to the love problems of Buffy's friends...or even mortal enemies. And this lady knows how to protect her daughter. Who can forget that epic moment when she hit Spike over the head with an ax, growling 'you get the hell away from my daughter'.
What to get her: Throwing stars to go with her ax.


5. Mrs. S, Orphan Black



This badass mama literally crossed an ocean to keep her foster babies safe. Both whip-smart and positively lethal, Mrs. S has literally killed for her young. But she's still not afraid to give the headstrong Sarah or the flighty Felix a smack upside the head when they need it.
What to get her: A whip...for both enemies and her kids.


4. Catelyn Stark, Game of Thrones



Talk about selfless. I don't think Catelyn has ever had some 'me time' in her entire life. She raised six kids, one of whom was the child her hubby Ned had with another woman. And when said husband died, what did Cat do? Went to war! She stood stalwart by her eldest son's side, but basically ran the entire war for him...only to get killed because the Young Wolf couldn't keep it in his pants.
What to get her: A man-whore to keep her war tent warm. Hey, if the guys can do it, why can't Cat?


3. Red, Orange Is the New Black



Yeah, she's a great mom to her dopey sons...but also to an entire PRISON of women. You don't want to make the mistake of becoming Red's enemy -- remember the tampon sandwich?  -- but oh, you've got it made if she takes you under her wing. Red keeps her children fed, happy and safe....three things that are hard to come by in a prison.
What to get her: A life-time supply of Piper's back cream.


2. Gemma Teller, Sons of Anarchy



TV has never seen such a ferocious mama bear as biker wife Gemma. Fiercely loyal to her family, Gemma will threaten, beat up, or even kill anyone who threatens them. Her sense of family doesn't end at bloodlines. Gemma is a devoted mother to both Sons and Crow-eaters alike.
What to get her: Brass knuckles.


1. Tami Taylor, Friday Night Lights



Is there a woman in real life OR TV-land who has it together as much as this coach's wife turned guidance counselor turned principal? Tami is a phenomenal mom to biological daughters Julie and Gracie -- remember her firm but calm attitude after she found out Julie had sex? But Tami is a mother to every youth in Dillon, Texas. Who can forget when she counselled Becky on her pregnancy, took over planning the funeral of Matt Seracen's father, or dropped her hot date with Coach Eric to rescue Tyra from a lothario cowboy? Tami is stern -- I can't even look at her when she says 'you need to think about your choices' -- but loving. The perfect TV mom.
What to get her: Wine...oh, so much wine.

That's the list, my lovely readers. What do you think? Any of these yummy mummies not up to scratch? Who's YOUR fave TV mom? Post a comment and let me know. Keep checking back for more lists, and as always, every Tuesday for my Buffy blog.

Dish later;
Liz





Wednesday, 6 May 2015

TV's 25 Most Hated Characters...According to Liz

Ever encounter a character who is the most despicable thing to ever walk across your TV? Ever think why in the seven hells is this stupid dolt ruining an otherwise great show with their stupid problems? Ever throw yourself to the floor in anguish and curse to the TV gods for inflicting such horribleness upon you?

If you have answered 'yes' to any of these questions, you are not alone. Therapists (on TV) have taught me that it's good to talk about the problem, so I did it in the form of a list. A list of the most odious, obnoxious characters TV has ever seen. Some of these you will nod and shout 'I hear ya, sister'. Others will give you pause, or maybe even the desire to send something heavy flying at my head.

Here it is, TV's 25 Most Hated Characters (in no particular order):

* POSSIBLE SPOILERS LIE AHEAD. Read at your own risk...or if you like fantastic writing*

* Joffrey Baratheon, Game of Thrones




Is there a soul alive who likes this sadistic little turd? Game of Thrones has its fair share of terrible people, but most of them have some redeeming quality. When Joffrey isn't brutally murdering courtesans or humiliating his once-fiancee Sansa or uncle Tyrion, the little bully is disobeying orders from his mother the freaking queen and decapitating Ned Stark for sport...and thus starting a war. However, since meeting this twerp, red wine has never tasted so delicious.

* Dana Brody, Homeland




Every time this whiny little twat opens her marble-mouth, don't you just want to punch her in the face? Sure, it's tough being a teenager, especially when your hot dad is suspected of being a terrorist, but in a show about espionage and the bloody CIA, are we really expected to give a hoot about the woebegone love life or suicide attempts of a dumb teenager?

* Larry Bloom, Orange is the New Black




What's so heartbreaking is that in the pilot, I absolutely loved Larry and his adoration for Piper. But as soon as he watched Mad Men behind Piper's back -- in the next freaking episode -- I knew it was a slippery slope. Indeed, the hipster douchebag published an exploitative article about Piper's time in prison and then up and decided to cheat on her...with her best friend. Her best friend. Dick.

* Bernadette Rostenkowski, The Big Bang Theory, post-wedding




Before you flay me alive, hear me out. I adored Bernadette when she first showed her plucky self. I thought she was sweet and funny and nothing but good for Howard. But then they got married...and she turned into a sit-com wife. Read: condescending, bitchy and emasculating. Her snotty attitude isn't just limited to her husband. Bernadette takes great pride in cussing out Leonard for not being a good scavenger hunt partner, makes fun of Amy for not having boned Sheldon, and regularly belittles Penny for her professional and sexual choices. But she's tiny and wears cute little dresses, so that makes her adorable, right?

* Mimi-Rose Howard, Girls




I know, I know, everyone hates Marnie. Don't get me wrong, I've been on that hate train now and again, but Mimi-Rose fills me with a unique rage impossible to ignore. This boho-bitch goes and breaks up Hannah and Adam -- though Adam did have a hand in that, to be fair -- and then on a whim decides she would rather get back together with the guy who plays Spock? What a flighty little trick.

* The Project Castor clones, Orphan Black




When it was revealed last season that there were boy clones, I was positively titillated. But so far this season, we've just met a pack of identical psychopaths who are impossible to keep track of, and worse, take away time from the clones we've all come to love -- Sarah, Alison, Cosima and Helena. Can we castrate Project Castor?

* Lily Tucker-Pritchett, Modern Family




Since this cloying brat started talking, it has spelled bad news for the otherwise delightful comedy. What kid talks like that? And she's got a nice life, why is she such a bitch all the time? If she's this bad now, buckle up for puberty, Cam and Mitch. Is it too late to send her back?

* Pete Campbell, Mad Men




What a sleazy little weasel. From the jump, Pete was after Don's job and treated sweetheart Peggy like a piece of meat. He has spent most of the series moaning and whining about his father-in-law, despite the fact that his business with the agency is the only reason Pete has moved up the corporate ladder. Furthermore, when Pete isn't being a complete asshole to his world-class wife, he's cheating on her with the annoying twit from Gilmore Girls. I wish that Pete was the falling man in the opening credits.

* Skyler White, Breaking Bad, the Ted Beneke affair




Yes, I have heard the argument that it's a double standard for people to judge Skyler for her sociopathic actions while rooting for her murderous, meth-cooking husband. But guess what? I can't relate to running a drug empire, but I can relate to being in a shitty relationship. And you know what? I  have never felt the need to grind up on my boss, Marilyn Monroe style, and then conduct an affair with him. Thankfully, Skyler redeemed herself by taking over the laundering operation of Walter's drug money, and took charge when he went off the deep end. But she still ruined 'Happy Birthday' for me.

* Henry Reagan, Blue Bloods




Rarely given his own storyline -- and in those rare instances, they're boring and pointless -- Henry's only purpose in the show is to sit at the head of the dinner table and prattle on about the glory days...when police brutality was totally acceptable. This pompous patriarch's most prized possession is a police slapper. And this guy used to be the commissioner? Scary stuff.

* Joey Potter, Dawson's Creek




Why is every teenage boy in Capeside positively ga-ga for this chick? Beneath Joey's girl-next-door exterior lies an incredibly snarky, cruel, self-righteous bitch. She moons over Dawson for an entire season and when she finally gets him, she breaks up with him so she can...paint? Then two episodes later, she drops her brush like a lit match. And let's talk about how mean she was to Jen, who did nothing wrong but accidentally get noticed by Dawson, and did nothing more than be an absolute sweetheart to Joey. Yes, Joey has had a hard life...but so have most of the Creeksters and they don't behave in such a callous manner.

* Harry Morgan, Dexter




Why is this moralistic spectre a part of such a strong cast of characters? The concept of Dexter is brilliant, and the writing is fresh. So why are we force-fed Dexter's thought process by a series of cheesy ethereal appearances and flashbacks? As far as I'm concerned, Harry can take his 'code' and shove it.

* Zoey Pierson, How I Met Your Mother




Her good qualities end at her looks. Seriously, what self-respecting woman would leave her husband, The Captain, for an over-analytical, Woody Allen-lite twerp like Ted Mosby? And then when the two start dating, what does she do? Puts on her activist hat and protests the construction of the very building her new boyfriend is designing. What an ungrateful bitch. How does she think he pays for their dates?

* AJ Soprano, The Sopranos




His sister Meadow was no great shakes either, but she grew up and matured. In a show about the Mafia, why should I care about scrapes on the playground, or what this spoiled bastard wants to do with the rest of his life?

* Brenda Walsh, Beverly Hills 90210




For a girl who is 'the poor one' in her group of friends, Brenda Walsh sure is a stuck-up bitch. She is verbally abusive to anyone in striking distance, ironically most so to those who love her, like her mother Cindy, Matron Saint of Patience, and her boyfriend Dylan, all but driving him into Kelly's arms. And back when Kelly and Brenda were supposedly best friends, Brenda took the opportunity to chastise Kelly for her provocative outfit after she was almost raped. Barf.

* Aidan Shaw, Sex and the City, after he takes Carrie back




I also hate Mr. Big and Aleksandr Petrovsky, but Aidan has most people snowed. Yes, like so many a woman, I thought Aidan was a sweetie pie when he first dated Carrie, if not a little boring, and I felt very sorry for him when Carrie told him about her affair with Big. But then he's a dick when they get back together. Why reunite with someone who betrayed you? So you can take gleeful pleasure in guilt-tripping them into caring for your sick dog while you flirt with skanky bartenders? Yeah, what a 'nice guy'.

* Dawn Summers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer




Why mess with perfection, asked many a Buffy fan, when Season 5 saw the inexplicable addition of a little sister to the Slayer. Not just any little sister, but one whose annoyingness and self-centredness knew no bounds. Dawn was known to steal from the people who cared for her, magically force others to spend time with her instead of fighting evil, and whenever someone upset her, shriek 'GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT', at a pitch so high it's normally reserved for tea kettles. Why, oh why, did Buffy not do the world a favour and let Glory kill this pubescent banshee?

* Peter Florrick, The Good Wife




I'm a fan of fidelity, but I'm not going to burn someone at the stake for cheating once, maybe even twice. But this jackass carried on multiple affairs with the likes of the whorish Amber Madison, and Kalinda Sharma, a member of his own staff. Yet, somehow he thinks he's good enough to be the District Attorney, and act all morally superior to the good folk at Lockhart-Gardner? I don't know what the stunning powerhouse, Alicia Florrick, ever saw in him.

* Ima Tite, Sons of Anarchy




Has TV ever seen a shit-disturbing slut who needs her face bashed in as much as Ima? (Thanks for that, Gemma!) This Crow-eater sniffs around like a dog in heat for any relationship drama a Son might be having and climbs on for a ride. And who can forget when she conned the sweet Lyla into doing torture porn and nearly got her killed? What a disgraceful human being.

* Andrew Van de Kemp, Desperate Housewives




True, maybe if I told my mom I was gay and she feared for my mortal soul, I'd be a bit peeved. Maybe I'd even slam a door. What I wouldn't do is call her every abusive name under the sun, proclaim her inferiority to my philandering, sexually submissive father, and try to get her convicted of child abuse. For goodness sake, the show is called Desperate Housewives not Desperate Douchey Sons. Why inflict such a cretin upon us?

* Becky Sproles, Friday Night Lights




I knew the series would never be the same when most of the original teens graduated high school. But why punish us with such a clingy attention whore? Her unsuccessful pursuit of Tim Riggins landed somewhere between needy puppy and Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. Yet somehow, the poor jailbird felt the need to babysit this space case after he got out of the big house, instead of spending time with his actual family. Seriously, every time she would drawl 'Hi, Tim Riggins', my ears bled.

* Bruce Butler, The Affair




It's difficult to find redeeming characters in a series called The Affair, but Bruce Butler is squarely at the bottom. He makes merry sport of passive aggressively chiding son-in-law Noah for his less successful writing endeavours, and takes every opportunity he can to remind Noah of the money he so 'graciously' offered so Noah and Helen could buy their home. Add in the snobby, lecherous attitude he has toward the wait staff at his party, and you've got yourself a class act.

* Claire Fisher, Six Feet Under, art school to Ted Fairwell




I actually thought Claire was a pretty cool cat, until she enrolled in art school. Her faux-boho relationships with her classmates and Billy made her look like a character out of a rejected Diablo Cody script. Then when she gets a taste of success at an art show, Miss Claire decides school is too small-time and drops out...promptly falling flat on her face. She hangs around the house all day in her pajamas like a layabout leech until Mom forces her to get a job. And then she meets the love of her life and becomes a decent human being again.

* Brooke McQueen, Popular




Don't you just hate girls who bemoan the hardships of being pretty? Brooke swears to kingdom come she's really a sweet person, but does absolutely nothing when deliciously bitchy BFF Nicole verbally assaults every brunette in the school -- having brown hair is equal to leprosy at Kennedy High. Also, Brooke has a noxious habit of rejecting men, only to want them back the second they move onto another girl. She did it when Josh started dating Carmen, and then again when Harrison expressed feelings for Sam. But she's really a kind person. Please. Someone call the waaaaambulance.

* Sean Donnelly, The Black Donnellys




If you've never watched this short-lived gem of a show, drop everything you're doing and catch up...and join me in my hatred of baby-of-the-family, Sean Donnelly. In the pilot, Sean was introduced as the pretty boy who 'steals his brother's girlfriends', and whadda ya know, he's making out with Tommy's gal-pal from school. Yet despite Sean's cockblock-itude, the elder Donnelly brothers feel the need to protect this twerp from 'the life'. A high school dropout, Sean lives at home and whines for Mommy to bring him meals in bed when he's not feeling pretty. In a show with gangsters, rape and murder, why should I give a shit about this moron not wanting to get his GED?

That's it, my lovely readers. My list of the most hated TV characters. How did I do? Am I a raving loon for including a certain character on the list? Which one? Did I leave anyone critical off the list? Post a comment and let me know. Look for more TV lists to follow!

Dish later;
Liz